Ephesians 6:12

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

I am ashamed to admit that though I am aware of spiritual warfare I do not have a constant mind set to pray against it. I might have passion but I don't have strength of mind to recognize blatant signs to pray. 

LORD mold me continually. 

Teach me to repent properly.

 Teach me to love genuinely. 

Teach me to hate sin. 

Teach me to pray pointedly.  

LORD it is a reverent prayer my heart desires to give. 

By Your grace I am bought to live. 

My soul transcends this physical body for existence,

Dead in flesh- life in you.

Let my mind be ready for action,

A slave- a soldier,

Yours. 

Amen 

  

Swell

If you have been to the ocean as a child then you might have been blown away by how vast the water seemed.

I remember as a child walking out into the water until I was around waist deep and being surprised by a new swell that lifted me up and gently placed me a little further out into the ocean. I absolutely loved this sensation. 

A new swell quickly followed the last one placing me a little further out. And another swell larger then the rest came and lifted me up but when it left I was not able to touch the bottom. Instant panic as I slipped down reaching down with my toes for some hope of ground. My head was now under water and my nose was stinging with salt water, panicking my mouth opened and water flowed in. It seems that one little bad decision leads to a dramatically worse situation. 

Thinking about this situation today I am reminded of how sneaky sin can be in my life. How quickly a life situation can escalate into being drowned in lack of faith. 

My fear as a child froze up my thinking, I did not think clearly. My actions were rash and uncontrolled leading to a new yet worse situation to be in, deeper in the water. 

When I think about current concerns, such as making sure my finances are in order or how my relationships rely solely on me-  my own actions begin to spiral out of control. 

Matthew 14:22-33

And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”

And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him,“O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying,“Truly you are the Son of God.”

I am so much like Peter. I so often ask God if He wants me to have faith and He says yes. I begin to walk and live my life in faith and then it happens. The storm of the world attacks and I begin to lose any concentration. Like myself as a child the swells of the world draw me out into the deep water and I sink quickly. 

Psalm 27:4-6 

One thing have I asked of the Lord,

that will I seek after:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up

above my enemies all around me,

and I will offer in his tent

sacrifices with shouts of joy;

I will sing and make melody to the LorD

I am confident the LORD will lift my head out of the water when I seek Him, when I confess my sins and depend on him. My Christ is the light of my salvation, I do not fear my circumstances. 

Phone

With this modern era of texting my fingers are always vexing,

My phone blips and my brain pops,

Instantly I have to be in two places at once.

Forget others- those around me,

Now my phone completely has me.

A victim to this little flashing box, my thumbs cannot escape.

I must respond quickly- what will they think.

Alas I look up.

......I am alone....

...blip....

The Eternal View of Living

There has been many days of pondering these last few weeks in my own heart. One thought that has been stuck in my head was shared while listening to a sermon from Ravi Zacharias. He quoted C.S. Lewis, "You do not HAVE a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a BODY."

This little thought has been nagging at me for some time now. A thought of truth. Lewis was completely right in what he was saying. Lewis is reminding us that God has created us for eternity.

Lewis is only stating what God has revealed to him through scripture and natural inferences from living.

Jesus reminded his Disciples several times, Matthew 10:28 comes to mind. Our physical body can be harmed by physical things, our judge is God in heaven who can do both destroy the body and Soul.

Curious...

He also is the Light of My Salvation. He is my only true life.

I am inching my way to understanding his living in me as he teaches me a way of living, truly living. Not this breathing, heart beating type of living. But the kind of living that keeps my eyes eternally in perspective.

I have a body. My silly body with all its quirks is not the part that was dead. I was the one that was dead. Dead, walking around in this body. Acting the fool in my own life, or better yet lie.

I praise Christ my salvation from my mortal self. Paul in Romans 8:10 reminds us, "But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness." 

I am alive not by my own doing but wholly through the work of Christ. He is my life. Igniting my zeal- much deeper and stable than my passion.

Reminded by David that God is the one that lifts me. Psalm 27. 

Lift me up LORD establish me in your INTEGRITY,

Take my faults and use them for your GLORY,

Ignite in my Soul the zeal for how you are HOLY,

Thank you for the memories of this body and the grace you have given me. 

The death of this body is once but my life with you is eternal my glimpse of you is beautiful. 

Continue to teach me- as stubborn and slow as I am. 

Amen 

A Proverb

Proverb 17:21

"The father of a fool has no joy."

The feelings of an abandoned father cannot be easily healed except by the grace of Christ our Heavenly Father.

Apostasy

I have put to shame the grace of my LORD

I have not exceeded His Love - I have stepped away from its flow.

Finding my own heart more attractive I have put to shame the work Christ accomplished on the cross,

Accepting only what grace I wanted or found to be comfortable.

I am a deep and twisted man.

I fear and respect the LORD, but is He mine?

How can I bring glory to His name? I can't for I am helpless.

LORD find it in your will to save me, turn your anger from me.

Heal me from my apostasy.

Hebrews 6

LORD your words bring no immediate comfort, 
My spirit is low I can do nothing but lay in my bed,
I pray to you my king and hear no response. 
Hear my prayer, the prayer of a sinner. 

I wait for my conviction to be complete, completely revealed. 
I will not stand unless my movements are actions of repentance. 
Let me move in action for your glory, give strength to my bones. 
Let me hear your voice your tender rebuke calling me home to you. 
You alone I will answer to. You alone are the reason I live. My sovereign King provider of everything send to me and restore to me the passion of my first love.  

1 Corinthians 2

Depression my deep pressure within.

Depth unseen compressing me.

Within my spirit i am crippled.

You are the only one that sees my depths.

The compression of my sin.

The brokenness of my heart.

Who knows the mind of man except for the spirit of that man?

And LORD no one knows the depths of You except for your Spirit.

Yet by Your grace You have taken my depth from me.

And Your grace is deeper than my depravity.

Your grace answering me with deep relief within,

Your depth eternally within my spirit.

I am revived!

Amen

There was once a young boy that desired attention. He tried crying first but quickly discovered this brought the wrong kind of attention. 

Not that he didn't like being held, but the holding was only long enough for the current pain he felt to leave for a short while. 

This boy discovered that pain was going to be a constant in various areas of his life with various degrees of intensity. Some physical, some emotional. 

He also realized his physical pain caused emotional pain responses and attention was only a temporary fix. 

How could this boy discover attention from an eternal giver? It begins on his knees. 

The emotional affect of physically bowing to the giver of life.

This boy's whimpers and tears fell as the LORD lifted the boy into His eternal sanctuary. 

No pain will reach and no lack of being held. His tears of pain becoming tears of joy- safe.

LORD,

You a my safety. My constant ear and guide. You speak-I listen, you whisper and I strain to hear.

Continue to mold me LORD. Continue to provide. Patiently I wait.

Dreams

Dear Lord,

I get so confused about my dreams. They are so vivid some times. You have confused me to my core. Please know LORD how deeply I love you. Teach me LORD your patience, something I am horrible at. I have failed at trusting you, but you are faithful in loving me! 

Thank you for strength these past few months. I trust you, you are my God my salvation my Christ and Savior. You alone I call precious. Continue to be King in my life, and provide for me as you faithfully have in all my life. 

Amen.

The splinters in my hands show how desperately I cling to your cross.

Romans 8:23

Romans 8:23

And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.


Oh LORD I desperately wait!

My body aches.

I hate this daily pain,

This struggle, the strife.

Inwardly I groan with the desire for peace.

Redeem me,

Your Son my salvation.

Your Spirit is my strength,

But if I hope for what I do not see, I wait for it with patience,

Knowing what is to come, the salvation of my soul.

i am going to speak,
i will shout,
most defiantly pout,
i will plead with the need,
all must hear what i find dear,
push aside all fear and come with me to see,
we find our actions in factions leading to our inevitability,
again i plead,
have you seen this need?
our saviour indeed has a plan that will span this space and time,
which will lead towards our proper paradigm.

Older men

Titus 2:2

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.



Lord I love my grandfather and I pray for him tonight as he makes tough choices. He has been an example to me of what an older man is supposed to be. I praise you for that.

1 Peter 1:8

My heart aches for reconciliation in the midst of my own calamity,

Your distance is beyond what I see,

My heart clings to hope

You say of me:

"Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him,

you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory"

My lonely heart satisfied

Contrite I fall- for You LORD are my all- humbled by my body's brevity.

Alas now complete with You my heart's faith expressed.

1 Peter 1:8

To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul. http://esv.to/Ps25.1



LORD, I cannot do anything with this soul

In fact it looks pretty pathetic and useless in my hands.

You alone are worthy of my soul.

You alone have shown me love that does not leave.

Please LORD take my soul and direct me.

You are the only consistency that I need

To you O LORD I lift up my soul.