He Gives Wisdom

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
(James 1:5-8 ESV)

There has been a problem that I have been having and I cannot find the solution anywhere in myself or anything I own! Needless to say if I am to be completely honest this problem has allot to do with me and what I have done to get here.

I know that my steps in the future need to be wise. I have made far to many bad and unwise choices in the past to even take any step until I know what to do next.

So here I am set in a new location. I admit I am a little scared. James earlier already reminded us that when we face various trials we should count it all as joy! That this is producing a steadfastness, a patience, a long-suffering that will lead to us being perfect and complete.

Now that I am in this  point of patience, and long-suffering above all else I need wisdom!!! I am at the point of pulling my hair out! God I need that wisdom that you give so much!

I don't know if you have ever read Psalm 39, but if you have not you might feel like this writer when you are in a various trial of your own making.


“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in you.
Deliver me from all my transgressions.
Do not make me the scorn of the fool!
I am mute; I do not open my mouth,
for it is you who have done it.
Remove your stroke from me;
I am spent by the hostility of your hand.
When you discipline a man
with rebukes for sin,
you consume like a moth what is dear to him;
surely all mankind is a mere breath! Selah
“Hear my prayer, O LORD,
and give ear to my cry;
hold not your peace at my tears!
For I am a sojourner with you,
a guest, like all my fathers.
Look away from me, that I may smile again,
before I depart and am no more!”
(Psalm 39:7-13 ESV)

The very wisdom God has given me generously has revealed my own transgressions! OH MY!!

I don't know about you but when I ask for a gift from God I hardly expect it to come in the form of a rebuke.

Let me remind myself of this. When I open my mouth let it not be haughty and especially let me not think I can explain to God my situation better than He already knows.

I am still a little bit scared of where I am and upset at how I ended up here. I am however not worried, let God give more generously of His wisdom, but much much more of His grace.

I am so much like that psalmist, do i actually want the LORD to stare at me for to long? How long can I hold His attention without feeling devolved of my being?

I am pondering these things today.